Why is it painful? We live in a world where the mantra is “It’s not personal, it’s just business.” What a lie! It is always personal. The fact of the matter is that most people develop personal relationships with their co-workers and bosses and resigning has the same emotional impact as breaking up with a long term girlfriend or boyfriend or leaving for college. Often times the person resigning feels like they will be letting the team down or disappointing their manager. This is natural and it’s OK. If you don’t feel like this it’s OK too – it just means you don’t have a heart… Just kidding – it’s OK to be excited about leaving a bad situation too. The other reason it is painful is because many people automatically assume that the employer response will be negative. This is rarely the case.
Moving on… The other reason resignations are so tough is because of how your employer reacts to it. I’ve generally found that they react in one of three ways:
1. Gracious
This is how I wish everyone would act. The employer congratulates you and wishes you the best. They thank you for your time and ask to keep in touch. This is how most places react. It’s easier to leave these places on one level but does tug on the heart strings.
2. Shocked
This one is a little harder to quantify. The employer isn’t angry but instead acts hurt and shocked. Quotes you hear in this area include:
- “I just had no idea you were unhappy”
- “I don’t know how we will survive without you.”
- “Why didn’t you come to me?”
Often times this response is followed by a counter offer. If you want to learn more about my thoughts on counter offers feel free to read my article about them here:
3. Angry
This is by far the worst response. It is what people seem to expect will happen when in actuality it is also the rarest. In this situation the employer gets mad. They start telling you things like:
- “I can’t believe you are doing this to us!”
- “We were thinking of firing you anyway!”
- “You are making a horrible mistake!”
- “The company you are joining is terrible!”
- “Get out of here right now!”
So – why do people act like this? In most cases it isn’t because you are working for a horrible person (this can be the case though). Usually it is because you caught them by surprise, they value you and because they don’t know what they will do without you. Basically they are angry because it affects them negatively. Some people are just bad reactors. Don’t hold it against them. In most cases they apologize later on once they have processed things.
Why is it important to resign correctly?
This seems like a no brainer but I’ll reiterate it. You need to resign correctly for two reasons. First – you never want to burn a bridge. Secondly, it’s a small world out there. If you choose not to exit gracefully it can and will come back to haunt you in future. So just remember to be the bigger person and exit gracefully.
How do you resign gracefully?
This is a really easy process. Just remember to keep it simple and move on. Here are the key points to remember:
1. Write a short resignation letter
This needs three parts. A statement that you are resigning and that your last day is X. A statement that you are leaving to pursue a different opportunity (remember – be gracious – say different, not better). Finally, say thank you for what the company has provided you.
2. Don’t Take Potshots walking out the Door
After you resign your company might start asking for constructive criticism or you might feel inclined to give some honest assessments about managers and co-workers. Keep your mouth shut and work out your two weeks. The sole goal of your final two weeks is to exit in a positive way and have good references for the future. Any constructive criticism – no matter how true – runs the risk of making you look bad in the eyes of people in the organization.
3. Don’t’ share where you are going
Here’s the deal. What do you have to gain by sharing your future employer? Absolutely nothing – the only purpose it serves is to satisfy curiosity. What do you have to lose? Everything! Protect yourself and don’t share it. But how do I answer the question? Use these words:
- My future employer has asked that I don’t share anything until a formal announcement has been made to their staff. I’ll be sure to let you know once this has happened.
4. Remember these words
“I really appreciate your input on this. I’m really excited about this next step in my career and will do anything within reason to help with my transition.”
Practice this statement before you go in. You can pretty much shape it to overcome anything your employer says.
Example:
Boss: “You’re making a horrible decision. You will Fail. Your are nothing without this company!”
You: “I really appreciate your input on this. I’m really excited about this next step in my career and will do anything within reason to help with my transition.”
Boss: ‘Congratulations! Best of luck!”
You: “I really appreciate this. I’m really excited about this next step in my career and will do anything within reason to help with my transition.”
Good, bad or neutral it works.
That’s all I’ve got on this subject! I hope that you all find this relevant and interesting. It means you close to getting jobs! As always please let me know if you have any comments, questions or suggestions! You can email me too at sthompson@insurance-csg.com.
Check out some of my recent articles on the blog here:
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